I woke with a song of praise

It has probably been years since I have heard, sung, thought about or worshiped with the hymn "My Jesus I Love Thee". I mean, I am sure I have sung it some time recently in church in the past year but it did not resonate with me then the way it has the past couple days.

Usually my sleep pattern is likened to that of someone in a comma. I rarely wake in the middle of the night and I sleep like a hibernating bear... but a few nights ago I was uncharacteristically restless. I was not sleepy at my normal "bed time" so I stayed up searching for articles and pictures of Guatemala on the computer. Finally I resolved to trying to sleep but I kept waking up. Every 30 minutes to an hour I was wide awake, tossing and turning. Finally around 4am I woke singing "...if ever I loved thee my Jesus 'tis now". Kid you not. How did that song get stuck in my head? I hadn't even been asleep long enough to dream.

I felt like Samuel when the LORD first spoke to him. 1 Samuel chapter 3 the boy, Samuel, goes to sleep and is awakened several times by a voice calling his name. He mistakenly thinks it is Eli who finally tells him that the LORD is trying to call him and to say to the voice "Speak, your servant is listening". Was God trying to speak to me? I didn't know how to listen. As silly as it sounds I sat up in bed with the only light visible, which was the glow from my digital clock and I listened. -nothing- I hummed the hymn and couldn't stop thinking about it and kept singing it in my head and now in my heart. I grabbed my trusty iPhone and searched for the hymn in iTunes so I could hear the words. I looked up the lyrics and read them out loud.

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou has first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree.
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

Why did I awake with this song in my head? I still have no idea. In fact, I was whistling it this morning and my roommate surprised asked me how I got that song stuck in my head. I don't know but it made me realize how often I DON'T wake with a song of praise in my heart. I realized how almost every day I wake - maybe take a moment to think about God or what I can do that day to glorify him but I rarely spend time to truly meditate on the power of what that could mean in my life on a daily basis.

After looking up the song and hearing it several times I still couldn't sleep. So... I turned on my lamp, grabbed my bible, opened to the book of Acts a book that teaches the people how to be the church serving the body of Christ and how to love one another well. I began reading and maybe made it through the entire 2nd chapter when my eye lids began to get heavy. My body nestled into a comfortable spot in my bed and I was out like a light. I didn't wake until nearly 9am.

I suppose the main thing I received from this episode was that when I tried with all my might to find rest, I couldn't. When I immersed myself in the Word of God, I found rest.

Ignore the video part... just listen to the song: