I Couldn't Sleep...

Hey Chels,

I couldn't sleep.

I'm not thinking about anything in particular ... in fact, it's probably that I'm thinking about all kinds of things that my mind can't just rest.

I came home exhausted and ready to crawl into bed. I got to spend this evening with my dear friend Becky. Yesterday was her birthday so she invited some friends over to her apartment courtyard to BBQ with the neighbors. Becky is a special girl. She and I are very much alike.

Becky really wants to know her neighbors and to share her life with them. She was so pleased to spend time with them AND her friends together in community.

I got to thinking about how my heart works, how God wired me. I'm someone who loves to be connected. I live life with a lot of people and some I'm closer to than others, of course, but I genuinely want to know and to learn from every person who enters my life... if even just for a moment.

I used to be so intentional. I'm realizing more about myself every day. I tend to cram so much into one day... so much that sometimes people get left out. It's not that I want to ignore any one of them... I just want to be near all of them... and so I end up spreading myself too thin.

I don't ever want you to feel ignored. Yes, I'm busy and I have my own life going on and I have a job and family who needs me sometimes... but know you are and always will be special to me. No matter how busy I get or how far apart we are, KNOW without a doubt that you will always come to my mind and I will always smile. God had our paths cross at a very specific time in life. Almost a year ago actually now that I think about it.

Maybe we won't get to talk every day and share life’s deepest thoughts but I DO faithfully believe God connected us so we could both see TRUTH in action.

NEVER ever feel left alone. NEVER ever feel unloved. ALWAYS know you are protected, ALWAYS know you are loved, ALWAYS know you have power in the joy of the Lord.

If you love God and remain in Him, then He'll remain in you... and you will be one. (John 17 I think) Perfect love casts out fear (also scripture) so allow calm and joy to fill you to the brim. If God is in you, then every inch of you is light and reflects light. So when scripture says 'whatever you do, whether eating or drinking, do it for the Lord' it's because He is in you and you are in Him and so you are one with His spirit... and so when you go through life... good, bad, ugly, scary, wonderful... you bring God with you... as a part of you, like the skin that covers your bones- you are the same.

Matt had a beautiful Sermon last week about what it looks like to be connected to Christ and what it looks like to drag Him through the dark places in our lives. I don't want to drag my Christ in any dark places in my life that's for sure. It sure gripped my heart and reminded me of my perspective on life.

http://media.austinstone.org/

You, my Cheli, are very special to me, but because God and I are one, you are special to me because God loved you first... and showed me how much so we could love you together.

I'm sorry I cannot always answer my phone. I'm not always the best at returning a phone call to anyone... good thing the president never calls me. I just thought of that. Never feel like I'm gone or too far. If anything, our bond in Christ keeps us closer than anything.

Have a blessed day... all day.
.joy